A Time to Mourn...

Last Sabbath got the horrible news that Lew, my former husband, had been killed.
Still in shock.
Still sobbing.
Had to go on a work-related errand to the bank yesterday. Saw a man who resembled Lew a bit...nearly lost it. Have been doing that a lot.
Didn't know it could hurt so much.
Didn't know I had so much grieving to do...even after so many years.
Dreams die so hard!!!

Please pray for Mavis, Lew's bride...they had only been married a little over three months. She's a lovely lady...whose dreams now lay in ashes. Pray for the whole family...and friends...please.

Lew was killed in Utah on Monday night, April 5th, when a tractor-trailer truck passed a vehicle and hit him head-on. The driver of the truck, and his passenger, were treated at the scene...Lew was killed. It wasn't his fault.




The memorial service on Sunday, 4-11-10, was beautiful--perfect, actually...except that...
I wish it hadn't happened...a sentiment shared by all.
Still can't get over how much it hurts...wish I had a block of time where I could just get it all out, once and for all. Am hurting for Mavis, too...it just seems so wrong-headed to have been made a widow while still a bride...so hard to understand...

Just have to keep reminding myself over and over again:

GOD *always* does the right thing.
He *always* does it in the right way.
And, He *always* does it at the right time.

Right now it's the only truth I can comprehend...
even though it still hurts like all-get-out.

Can't talk right now...sorry.

Linda.

@}-',---



Everything Has Its Time

 ¹ To everything there is a season,

      A time for every purpose under heaven:
       ² A time to be born,
And a time to die;
      A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
       ³ A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
      A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
       ⁴ A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
      A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
       ⁵ A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
      A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
       ⁶ A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
      A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
       ⁷ A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
      A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
       ⁸ A time to love,
And a time to hate;
      A time of war,
And a time of peace. ⁹ What profit has the worker from that in which he labors? ¹⁰ I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.

 ¹² I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, ¹³ and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.
       ¹⁴ I know that whatever God does,
      It shall be forever.
      Nothing can be added to it,
      And nothing taken from it.
      God does it, that men should fear before Him.

       (Ecclesiastes 3:1-14, New King James Version)

April is "Child Abuse Awareness Month"

As someone who has lived with the physical-mental-emotional-spiritual and social effects of childhood sexual abuse, I can testify first-hand to how devastating it is. It kills the spirit of the person God created that child to be...it affects every aspect of the child's life, and leaves its imprint as indelible as DNA...it changes them... forever.

We learn how to "cope" with things that no child should ever have to experience.
We become adept at covering the pain, confusion, and fear.
Sometimes we are threatened not to tell.
Sometimes we try to tell and our words fall on deaf ears.
So, just to survive, we become Oscar-winning actors...wearing masks to hide the unspeakable.

There are tell-tale signs; but, often they are overlooked.
Thankfully, there's quite a bit of info on the Internet nowadays that can help alert parents to indicators of possible sexual abuse. However, the old saying, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," is wise counsel--especially where childhood sexual abuse is concerned.

Every child deserves to have their innocence protected--at all costs; because, the price of violation is way too high. Even *one* time of inappropriate touch will scar a child for life. But, so will more subtle forms of this abuse, such as:

--Inappropriate nick-names, such as calling the child their "Girlfriend" or "Wife", "Boyfriend" or "Husband",
--Referring to a child's private parts, especially in a teasing or humiliating manner,
--Pinching the child's bottom, or other private parts--playfully or otherwise,
--Walking around in front of the child in varying degrees of undress/nakedness,
--Lewd suggestions,
--Leering,
--Not allowing the child privacy in the bedroom or bathroom,
--Pretending not to know that the child was in the bedroom or bathroom and walking in on them,
--Telling "off-color" jokes to the child or in the child's presence,
--Fondling another adult in the child's presence,
--Touching the private parts of animals in "fun" or as "sex education",
--Inappropriate kissing,
--and many, many more.


It is vital that children know the difference between "Good Touch" and "Bad Touch", yes; but, that's not enough. Children also need to know that even "safe" people can be very UNsafe...people the child loves...and is deeply bonded with. The teasing, cajoling, and manipulation of the child's affections that takes place can seem so slight as to be imagined; but, one "uncomfortable" word or act leads to another, and another, and another. The subtlety with which these crimes against innocence are committed are master-minded by Lucifer, himself...starting in Eden.

It's very difficult for a child to resist something they are not comfortable with, especially if the adult is trusted. The adult abuser counts on that, and subtly "conditions" the child to ignore their gut-instincts...slowly, but repeatedly...until the child is finally overcome.

But, even if the child is able to escape overt abuse, the covert abuse has already done its damage. The child will condemn and self-blame for ignoring the internal wiring God installed in each of us to warn of danger. They are young. They will not understand any of this. Not without being taught. They will think it is their fault...long into adulthood...and it will rob them of the best years of their lives and the ability to love themselves and others as God instructs us to do.

God can, and does, heal.
Forgiveness is possible.
But the journey is very long and arduous indeed.

May God keep you and yours safe in His care and love,

Linda.