As someone who has lived with the physical-mental-emotional-spiritual and social effects of childhood sexual abuse, I can testify first-hand to how devastating it is. It kills the spirit of the person God created that child to be...it affects every aspect of the child's life, and leaves its imprint as indelible as DNA...it changes them... forever.
We learn how to "cope" with things that no child should ever have to experience.
We become adept at covering the pain, confusion, and fear.
Sometimes we are threatened not to tell.
Sometimes we try to tell and our words fall on deaf ears.
So, just to survive, we become Oscar-winning actors...wearing masks to hide the unspeakable.
There are tell-tale signs; but, often they are overlooked.
Thankfully, there's quite a bit of info on the Internet nowadays that can help alert parents to indicators of possible sexual abuse. However, the old saying, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," is wise counsel--especially where childhood sexual abuse is concerned.
Every child deserves to have their innocence protected--at all costs; because, the price of violation is way too high. Even *one* time of inappropriate touch will scar a child for life. But, so will more subtle forms of this abuse, such as:
--Inappropriate nick-names, such as calling the child their "Girlfriend" or "Wife", "Boyfriend" or "Husband",
--Referring to a child's private parts, especially in a teasing or humiliating manner,
--Pinching the child's bottom, or other private parts--playfully or otherwise,
--Walking around in front of the child in varying degrees of undress/nakedness,
--Lewd suggestions,
--Leering,
--Not allowing the child privacy in the bedroom or bathroom,
--Pretending not to know that the child was in the bedroom or bathroom and walking in on them,
--Telling "off-color" jokes to the child or in the child's presence,
--Fondling another adult in the child's presence,
--Touching the private parts of animals in "fun" or as "sex education",
--Inappropriate kissing,
--and many, many more.
It is vital that children know the difference between "Good Touch" and "Bad Touch", yes; but, that's not enough. Children also need to know that even "safe" people can be very UNsafe...people the child loves...and is deeply bonded with. The teasing, cajoling, and manipulation of the child's affections that takes place can seem so slight as to be imagined; but, one "uncomfortable" word or act leads to another, and another, and another. The subtlety with which these crimes against innocence are committed are master-minded by Lucifer, himself...starting in Eden.
It's very difficult for a child to resist something they are not comfortable with, especially if the adult is trusted. The adult abuser counts on that, and subtly "conditions" the child to ignore their gut-instincts...slowly, but repeatedly...until the child is finally overcome.
But, even if the child is able to escape overt abuse, the covert abuse has already done its damage. The child will condemn and self-blame for ignoring the internal wiring God installed in each of us to warn of danger. They are young. They will not understand any of this. Not without being taught. They will think it is their fault...long into adulthood...and it will rob them of the best years of their lives and the ability to love themselves and others as God instructs us to do.
God can, and does, heal.
Forgiveness is possible.
But the journey is very long and arduous indeed.
May God keep you and yours safe in His care and love,
Linda.
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